Thing a Day! 4: It Probably Won't Clear Up

I'm a big believer in the best gift you can give your wife (or husband, depending on your plumbing and emotional wiring) is your complete sexuality. The key aspect of this is, naturally, abstinence. I preached this as a youth pastor and I believe it in my personal life. But even if I didn't, even if I were morally okay with sleeping around. I still wouldn't. Why?

Because it's a scary world out there.

AIDS, HIV, and their friends are no laughing matter, but there's just got to be something worse brewing out there. Several decades ago no one knew about AIDS or HIV until it exploded. Just wait, this new super disease is watching and waiting. It's going to be truly nasty too.

I expect its main symptom is making the lower half of your body fall off.

Everything from your belly button down topples to the ground.

There's obviously a long incubation period, that's why we don't know about it . . . plus the person you got it from had to have time to give it to you. You're walking along several years later and

SNAP

you're standing on your torso looking in horror at your still-twitching legs lying beside you.

Imagine going to your ten year High School reunion (or 20, or 30, etc.) wheeling what's left of your body on a skateboard. You avoid stares as best as you can until you run into your old best friend. He tries to hide his shock as he asks "Dude? What happened to you?"

You point to a girl-torso hiding in the corner.

"Amber."



note: I was going to either vlog this or make an animated video to change things up, but as it were I'm temporarily without my camera and can't find my microphone to save my life. So . . . this is the transcript of what might have been.